It takes me a really long time to come to realizations.
Apr 22, 2 days ago
I don’t have anything that keeps me motivated. Something that gives me joy and that saves me from myself. I have lots of interests but no passion. Nothing that I’m highly dedicated to. I think that’s what’s lacking in my life that one thing(s) that no matter how good of a day or how bad of a day I can always rely on that something to keep the good times rolling or bring them in just before I drown.
I need that something but if I don’t have that something at the age of 21 then I highly doubt I will ever find that something.
Apr 21, 2 days ago
I’m scared and terrified about how to go on. I mean I don’t know how I feel inside. Cause somedays it feels as if there’s a rainbow growing inside me and that nothing can bring me down. But then there are days where its nothing but darkness and I just want to flee from the pain.
Maybe I should just stop listening to my head and my heart. To just stop thinking and stop feeling cause either I feel too much and end up with a broken heart or I think too much and end up with migraines. I just don’t know, I mean they are moments where I have finally accepted the fact that you and I would have/ could have never been a thing. That they were too many people/ bullshit standing between us and they are days where I utterly believe that if I become such a tool that things would be different. That latter part is the hardest cause “I’m one of the good ones” whatever that means. If I was truely “One of the good ones” then why for the past 21 years life has done nothing but taken giant ass dumps on my face and force me to swallow it. Why has life always been a struggle, why am I always awake at 2 AM reading old texts messages or walking around campus with my head hung low, or just sad. Why can’t I just have one thing in my life go right? Why do I have to face adversity everywhere I go? Why do I have to push down and everytime I attempt to stand up only to get push down again?
One of these days I’m gonna stop standing up just crawl into a ball hope that nobody saves me. Cause I’m tired and scared and terrified and just straight up disappointed in myself and I’m sure everyone around me thinks the same thing that I won’t amount to anything in the end just be a dried up raisin among all the fancy cups of wine.
what the fuck this kid has better style than 99% of the male population
Simultaneously the worst and best movie ever made
Actually one of my teachers watched every single version of Romeo and Juliet with the original text in front of him to prove that this was the worst version, but to his great dismay its the most accurate film adaptation of it, with the lines closest to the original text and most similar stage direction and relayed emotions.
He proceeded to show it to us in class.